Sunday, 29 December 2013
Criticism in relationships - an insight
Let this blog find you living with enriching mutually contributing relationships around you!
Handling criticism (especially from our dear ones) is a challenge for many of us. Our responses may include avoiding the situation, defending our actions, snapping at the messenger...!
Few days back, I was helping with some household cleaning. My wife, Ruchi has a lot more awareness on cleanliness than I believe about myself. She pointed out a mistake & corrected it. I nearly snapped at her. There was silence and sudden presence of cold vibes.
My immediate thought was, “at least I am helping around the house & instead of appreciating, she is finding mistakes. You want it your way, you do it yourself!! I am a package deal.” I remembered a popular TV commercial where a maid says: “Itne paise mein to itna hi milenga!!” (for this much money, that’s all you can get!! - a colloquialism now humorously used to apply to every kind of situation)
I then thought about it more as to what was the trigger for snapping. I realized that I was not really upset by her pointing out. It was the realization that what she is pointing is correct: How come I was so unaware (STUPID!!) that I did not realize such an elementary mistake, while I also believe myself to be an epitome of awareness on cleanliness & hygiene.
I then told her this that the snapping / cold vibes was actually an outer manifestation of being upset with myself & my unawareness. I encouraged her to continue her corrections and promised to be aware not to snap at such occurrences!
Probably we treat criticism like this most of the time. Our mind prefers to believe that we are perfect & best in everything; we have arrived in life & there is no need to go anywhere from here! Hence we avoid people who raise our awareness; because they show us that we too have room for improvement.
May you find ways to tune all feedback, both given & received, towards progress and growth in awareness.
Wishing you an amazing new year ahead, full of insights & awareness, wellness & fitness, peace & meaning, prosperity & progress, joy & love!