Rohan Singal is a life coach and a mentor at Rejoiss Learning LLP.
This blog contains inspiring stories and video links. It also has articles and some practical tips on how to be a powerhouse in life, how to maintain your shine and glow, how to treasure your uniqueness.
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Lessons from death: some observations & a short fable
Let this blog find
you exploring, searching & fulfilling the purpose of your life!!
Here is my favourite
line from ILLUSIONS, by Richard Bach:
“Here is a test to
find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't.”
I remember 26
November 2008, where Tajmahal Hotel in Mumbai & some other places came
under attack and lot of people were glued to the TV telecast. A friend of mine
was staying in Oberoi Hotel for last few months as part of his India assignment
& checked out the same morning. Another friend specially came from Singapore
that evening and was trapped in the event. I am sure it was a life changing
incident for everyone involved in the incident directly or indirectly.
That night I got
many phone calls & sms from near & dear ones, especially those staying
out of Mumbai. “Please confirm your well being”. This reminded me that when our time is up, no
one can stop us from going. Till then, no one can force us to leave this earth.
Last 3 months I
attended two funerals. One was of a friend who was only 35 years old and was suddenly
found ill & in next 6 days simply left the earth. Luckily I got a chance to
meet him in this short time & we completed our circles with each other.
I learnt one crucial
lesson: Our time here is limited & uncertain. So it’s better spent
following my heart, instead of living someone else’s life & ideals. Also
may be the time of others near & dear ones is also limited & unknown.
So it is better to complete our circles with them ongoingly: acknowledging,
apologizing, forgiving, resolving old misunderstandings etc.
Why is it that when
someone near & dear departs from the earth, people cry & experience
loss? I think the real loss is that for a long time, we wanted to do something
for that person, say something to him/her or spend some time. Now that opportunity
is forever gone and that leaves us incomplete.
One exercise we give
to participants in our workshops is as follows:
“visualize a picture
of a dear one who has departed this earth. Say the following to that image:
thank you for _______.
all that you wanted to say when that person was alive & you did not)
RELEASE YOU FROM MY ORBIT and wish you all the best for your next journey
it is NOW”
In Hindu tradition
“Shradh” ceremony was probably designed to release the departed soul for the
next journey. When suggesting this exercise we came across many people who were
still very attached to the departed soul of their dear ones (especially
parents) and refuse to say “I release you from my orbit”. This statement simply
allows the departed soul to proceed on its next journey while still being
available to guide us when we really need it. It keeps them & us free to
fly to the next destination.
Here is one of my
favourite fables: narrated by Somerset Maugham
was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and
in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said,
"Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman
in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked
at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride
away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death
will not find me.
The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted
it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he
went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw Death standing in
the crowd. He went to Death and said, "Why did you make a threatening
gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?"
"That was not a threatening gesture,” Death said, “it
was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had
an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
about the people in your life who have truly grown you & made you the
person you are today: parents? Mentors? Friends? Colleagues? Bosses? This can
be a long list. Maybe the time has come to complete each circle one by one…