Criticism in relationships - an insight

Let this blog find you living with enriching mutually contributing relationships around you!

Handling criticism (especially from our dear ones) is a challenge for many of us. Our responses may include avoiding the situation, defending our actions, snapping at the messenger...!

Few days back, I was helping with some household cleaning. My wife, Ruchi has a lot more awareness on cleanliness than I believe about myself. She pointed out a mistake & corrected it. I nearly snapped at her. There was silence and sudden presence of cold vibes.

My immediate thought was, “at least I am helping around the house & instead of appreciating, she is finding mistakes. You want it your way, you do it yourself!! I am a package deal.” I remembered a popular TV commercial where a maid says: “Itne paise mein to itna hi milenga!!” (for this much money, that’s all you can get!! - a colloquialism now humorously used to apply to every kind of situation)

I then thought about it more as to what was the trigger for snapping. I realized that I was not really upset by her pointing out. It was the realization that what she is pointing is correct: How come I was so unaware (STUPID!!) that I did not realize such an elementary mistake, while I also believe myself to be an epitome of awareness on cleanliness & hygiene.

I then told her this that the snapping / cold vibes was actually an outer manifestation of being upset with myself & my unawareness. I encouraged her to continue her corrections and promised to be aware not to snap at such occurrences!

Probably we treat criticism like this most of the time. Our mind prefers to believe that we are perfect & best in everything; we have arrived in life & there is no need to go anywhere from here! Hence we avoid people who raise our awareness; because they show us that we too have room for improvement.

May you find ways to tune all feedback, both given & received, towards progress and growth in awareness.

Wishing you an amazing new year ahead, full of insights & awareness, wellness & fitness, peace & meaning, prosperity & progress, joy & love!

Warm regards,

Rohan

Restoring wellness - some insights

Let this blog find you living healthy with high awareness.

Recently me & my wife Ruchi managed to reduce 12 kgs each in 15 weeks. Lot of friends asked “HOW???” Hence this mail. You may have already read part of it on a Facebook post.

1.  Strong intent & determination:

a)   We witnessed some illness in family and friends’ parents. We realized that the core reasons were that they ignored exercise, fitness, conscious eating for a long time.

b)   When I tried running as cardio exercise, to my horror, 5 minutes of running & I had severe pain in my knees. The next day I found I could not climb even one flight of stairs!!!!

c)   We travelled recently in a train and found that many people, even 45-50 year olds, preferred lower berth as they had knee issues to climb to mid or upper berth. Realizing that we are only few years away from this age group, we resolved to give priority to this ‘not Urgent but Important’ task of restoring fitness.

d)   Ruchi firmly believes that her internal belief & daily affirmations (“there is a thin person inside me”) helped her stay on track. Because of the strong intent, we kept looking & found appropriate physical trainer & dietician. Our favorite line is from Steve Jobs: “Keep looking. Don’t settle”.

2.   Physical training & healthy eating: 3 years of personal training (3 hours every week) increased our strength & stamina along with awareness of what kind of food we ate. I reduced/removed sweets, fried stuff, aerated drinks from my diet. We were overconfident about our healthy eating style. Yet the kgs and inches crept up slowly in this period.

3.   The turning point came with the new dietician (Dr. Falguni Shah) we consulted. Her medical knowledge was an added advantage as she gave us rationales that our mind could buy. She observed that we made a ‘khichdi’ (mixture) of so many advises. It is better to stick to one path and understand how it impacts your system. We released our arrogance of knowing everything about healthy eating. She was very assertive on her suggestions. We managed to follow her suggestions to 95% level.

I would suggest you consult & follow personalized advice of a good dietician: instead of just picking suggestions from various persons & books & even this note (and making a new khichdi)!!

Some things she suggested included:

a)   Drink warm/hot water before every meal. The water will compete with blood and take away some of the calories. Thus you will end up eating as usual but absorbing less calories.

b)   Do not mix grains in any meal. E.g. if eating wheat product – bread or chapati: then drop rice, or vice versa. So eat ONE grain based product in ONE meal.

c)   Take your weight and measurements ONLY once a week, neither earlier, nor later. Else you will get paranoid about it or lose track completely.

d)   The day you had a very heavy meal, under all circumstances, make sure your next meal is high in fibre – salad / fruits. NEVER SKIP next meal as that puts the body in a famine mode lowering metabolic rate & preserving all energy as fat.

e)   Other things such as mini meals with green tea (an anti-oxidant) between breakfast, lunch & dinner were also included.

She gave us base guidelines for hotel diets as well with options for all types of cuisines. Knowing what we could order in a restaurant while still maintaining our diet plan was very useful.

Biggest awareness was on the correct portion size for our required calorie intake. For example we believed nuts are healthy (many of them are). Since they are also tasty we ate lots and lots of them!!!

Another reassuring point was: she said this plan is only for 3-6 months and if you truly follow it, you will see results and then you move to maintenance diet, where you eat what you like in controlled proportions. In our maintenance diet she suggested NOT to mix sweet & fried stuff in the same meal (Either Samosa or Gulab jamun!! not both!!).

4.  Buddy system: Worked well. Me & Ruchi both were following the plans, we made weekly menus for each meal & mini meal, to comply with the diet plan. We encouraged each other to workout & specially do cardio.

5.  Increased awareness: I have become lot more aware of various foods, how they impact my body system. So the greed/desperation for sweets, fried items etc. has really taken a back seat.

In summary: loving yourself, positive intent, strong determination, buddy system, religiously following the diet plan & increased awareness worked for us. Also releasing arrogance “We already know everything about health & wellness” was critical.

The above may sound like a lot of work. But all I can say is the results are really worth it. The joy of realizing that you require 2 sizes lower clothes, far outweighs the temporary desire of sleeping 1 more hour or consuming one more junk food item.

Once you gain the momentum & rhythm, balance journey becomes simpler. With the raised awareness about food & my own body system, I am confident that we can maintain current level of fitness & health. Those of you who buy busy-ness / travel/ responsibilities as an excuse to delay wellness, remember as you have the expertise to manage complex work schedules, family & teams, you can very well manage diet (that same work, team & family also deserves your wellness)

Let this note inspire you to own up your wellness and be fit & agile so you can gift this world all the uniqueness you came here with. In case you are already a fitness & wellness enthusiast, then it may be time to encourage people around you.

Warm regards,

Rohan

Bringing excellence in tourist car business

Let this blog find you bringing excellence in all your endeavours.

Last year, we visited Chennai for a workshop. Our airport pickup was booked as usual. Unusual was the prompt & comprehensive SMS received when we switched on the mobile: "I am XYZ from Bala Tourist Service, My car no is 9999 and I am waiting at the exit with a placard." The driver also called us & spoke in impeccable English! The car was spic-and-span clean & shining. We wondered if it was a brand new vehicle straight from the showroom. (We found it wasn’t.)

We called the travel agency to reschedule our airport drop. The person receiving the call was crisp, prompt & had a kind of pride in his voice. He identified himself as ‘Driver Bala’. We soon realized we were speaking to the owner. We complimented his company for the pick-up experience.

Our airport drop car also looked brand new!! The service was truly impeccable. The driver actually ran to get a trolley as we reached the Chennai airport. This time I asked the driver whether he cleaned the car after reaching the hotel to pick us up. He told us that all drivers of the company have instructions to reach at least 15 minutes before pickup time & wipe the car clean again while waiting to pick the customer!!

We did further research on the taxi service and found the following story on their website (www.bala.co.in) and understood the spirit behind the excellence.

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After doing a series of odd jobs from the age of nine, Balakrishnan landed up as a driver at the Chennai trading office of the erstwhile German Democratic Republic, where he stayed for seven years. Saving money from his salary of about Rs 400 a month, he managed to buy a second-hand Fiat for Rs 6,000, which he let out as a taxi. When he was ready to quit his job, he sold the Fiat for about Rs 9,000. This, along with severance benefits of Rs 3,000 and his savings, was able to procure him a Rs 6,000 loan from Sundaram Finance. The interest was Rs 500 for a year.

Balakrishnan bought a new Fiat for Rs 19,000 and ran it as a meter taxi for just one year. He earned enough to repay the loan and keep some profit. But he was not prepared to stand around in the sun waiting for fares. He knew bigger things lay ahead: "I wanted to enter the tourist line," he says. He sold the Fiat and got himself a second-hand Ambassador for about Rs 15,000.

He ran the Ambassador as a private taxi. To get bookings he made the rounds of all the existing tourist cab services, so that they could get hold of him whenever they needed a car in an emergency. The strategy worked. Invariably, the cabs were overbooked and the overflow came to him. In about two years, Balakrishnan had sold the old car and bought a new Ambassador. It cost him Rs 20,000 and again, was financed in part by Sundaram Finance.

It was 1971, and he had hung out his shingle; Bala Tourist Service now employed a cook-bottle washer-office assistant at a salary of Rs 200 a month. A telephone borrowed from a friend and a house for about Rs 75 a month completed his SOHO. He would call home every few hours and his office boy would inform him of the next port of call. He was earning about Rs 6,000 a month from his tourist taxi. By now though, he was married, and soon two children came along, and he had to rent a bigger house for Rs 250 a month.

Expansion was practically inevitable. A second, then third, car was acquired and drivers hired. By 1979, he had six cars and drivers, three office staff, and an office at Rs 750 a month. There was no looking back. In 1997, the company bought its first Mercedes, which was immediately overbooked. Within three months it bought a second, and now it has seven Mercs in a fleet that also boasts of marques like Skoda, Chevrolet, Honda and Mitsubishi.

The significant point is that from the very beginning Balakrishnan charged a 10 per cent premium on the market rate only on the premise that he would offer "perfect service". Today, his premium on market rates is about 25 per cent. And his customers insist on returning. Obviously, the promise of service has been kept. The company only uses new cars, no souped up stuff or rebuilt tyres. "I know most of my regular customers by name," says a proud Balakrishnan.

His drivers are always on time, if not early, and trained to be courteous and helpful. Balakrishnan absolutely insists that they know the city and its suburbs thoroughly. Accordingly, they are also paid about 10 per cent over the market rate, along with incentives like a school fee allowance.

Balakrishnan believes in sharing his good fortune. He also offers easy finance to his drivers to help them buy the cars his company discards every two years. The drivers then keep the earnings from their cabs, giving Balakrishnan a commission. Obviously then, the drivers are doubly keen on attracting customers and retaining them.

With 75 cars, an office staff of 30, a sprawling office in the heart of town (Bala House), and a 12,000 sq. ft. house next door, does Balakrishnan plan to call it a day? "My son, an even better businessman, joined me in 1985, but I have no plans to retire. I enjoy work," he says. After dropping off his grandchildren at school, he is in office by 9.15 am. He is still among the first to answer a call to the Bala Tourist office—where he shares a long room with all his staff—and takes pleasure in identifying himself as Driver Balakrishnan. He might not have an MBA but this is one businessman who is certainly in the driver’s seat.

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May this story inspire you to bring your best in whatever you take on!

Warm regards,

Rohan