I
found a very interesting article on a blog on making assumptions. Here it is:
A policeman was heading home after
a long, hard day on patrol. He had dealt with a whole succession of difficult
people, and a mountain of frustrating paperwork. All he wanted at this point
was to kick back, unwind, enjoy some peace and quiet, and maybe watch a few
innings of baseball on TV.
But, as he neared home, he was
startled by a vehicle that came careening around a sharp curve and narrowly
missed his squad car. As the car passed within a few inches of him, the other
driver shouted “Pig!”
The police officer was suddenly
energized. He slammed on brakes, all set to turn his squad car around and head
off in hot pursuit. But as he rounded the curve, … he ran head-on into a large
pig that was standing in the middle of the road!
It’s a lesson we learn early in
life if we’re lucky: don’t assume! No matter how confident we are in our
understanding of the issue. No matter how certain of another’s reasoning or
motives. No matter how obvious the point may be to us. Effective communication
is far more complicated and difficult than we think. With barriers like
cultural differences, personal “filters,” different definitions, etc., it’s
amazing that any of us ever understand one another. But these aren’t the most
difficult obstacles. The biggest reason we aren’t able to hear what another is
saying to us is simply… “fear!”
Oh, we may camouflage it behind
anger, self-importance or any number of other false fronts, but at the root is
fear. Fear of being “found out,” or of being disappointed, or of not getting
what we want. It’s a powerful if crippling motivator. And most of us can summon
up plenty of reasons why we shouldn’t take another at face value. Honest
communication requires trust, and taking a risk. And we’ve been burned too many
times. So we settle for safety, make the natural assumption, and run head-on
into our own version of that pig as we journey down life’s highway!
There is a better way. A way that
recognizes our similarities. That sees others as a source of community and
healing. That looks past our own frustration and previous disappointments to
explore the possibility that even a “stranger” may have something positive to
say. The Apostle Paul described it in Corinthians, chapter 13. It’s the “higher
way” of love. I almost hesitate to use that term these days because of the way
our culture misuses it. But when you read Paul’s description, try substituting
“maturity.” It’s a perfect fit. The risks are higher for this way of living,
but so are the rewards.
Another (anonymous) writer
cautions:
“To laugh is to risk appearing the
fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is to
risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To
place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is
to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk
despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does
nothing, has nothing and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow but
they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by their certitudes
they are a slave, they have forfeited their freedom. Only a person who risks is
free.”
That doesn’t mean we should be
naive. It does mean we should be careful what we assume. Check it out. Give
others the benefit of the doubt. And if someone shouts something unexpected at
us, at least entertain the possibility that perhaps it may be more than a
personal insult. Who knows, that approach could change our life.
By CAPT J. David Atwater, CHC, USN
(http://academictips.org/blogs/making-assumptions/)
May this story & the blog
inspire you to be neutral to every situation.
Warm
regards,
