Monday, 1 January 2018

Taking fear of rejection head-on in 2018

Dear Reader,

As we begin this new year, I invite you to ask a question on this New Year with yourself and others?  

What do you intend to discard at the end of 2017? Some habit or attitude you may have been dragging along for many years.

In my case, I am discarding hypocrisy, especially with people close to me, my tendency to please everyone even against my own wishes (in my actions as well as words). I will be my authentic self all the time, everywhere. I am also leaving behind petty thinking and will think BIG 2018 onwards.

What would be your answer?

This idea got sparked by a TED talk by Jia Jiang: “What I learned from 100 days of rejection

 Most of my life I have lived seeking approval, being nice to everyone and mainly being afraid of rejection. I got rejected many times in my life since childhood e.g. not being included in a game by friends, not being selected to represent my house for a competition, rejected by the first company that came for summer placement in my college, rejected by the first 5 companies I interviewed for a job at final placement, not being given the promotion I coveted etc. etc.

The list is quite long. Each rejection came with huge pain. So, fear of failure, rejection & being left alone went together. The only way I found to cover it was by saying things that people want to hear, agreeing with them even when I did not really agree. It did not help much.

Hypocrite is a strong word. And in our mind, it mostly applies to others who don’t walk their talk or who don’t talk their mind. I did find a hypocrite lurking inside. When I reviewed my own instances of hypocrisy, fear of rejection was strongly present every time.

This ted talk is a great help. Some of the lines that resonated with me are:

  • We have two personalities inside us: one who wants to make a difference and another who has a fear of rejection.
  • How to take fear of rejection head on: Instead of anticipating rejection and running away at the first glimpse of rejection, stay; stay engaged and ask WHY!!
  • Rejection does not define who you are. Your reaction to the rejection defines you!!

Jia Jiang had an extreme fear of rejection and he decided to apply rejection therapy. Over 100 days he asked random people questions that he was sure they would refuse, thus collecting 100 rejections. He created a video blog of all these experiences.

His 3rd attempt transformed his life, where he made a crazy request to Jackie at Krispy Kreme to make Olympic symbol donuts for him. This video went viral with 5.6 million views till date.

Worth watching. I am confident you would be moved by the way Jackie responded. I was.

This 100 days rejection exercise, transformed Jia Jiang forever. It even helped him fulfil his life long dream.

May these videos inspire you to take any fear of rejection head-on this year. May you find courage to begin what you have been avoiding thus far, but matters to you.

Warm regards