Dear Reader,
For many of you this might be annual performance review
time. As a boss, it can be quite a challenge to give a critical feedback to
your team members.
In a recent workshop with leadership team of a company,
we shared a concept of “their- there”. We picked this concept from a
book I have earlier shared in my mail:
Real Influence - Persuade without push and gain without giving in: By Mark Goulston & John Ullman.
Here is the concept in brief:
Imagine that you’re at one end of
a shopping mall - say, the northeast corner, over by Starbucks. Next, imagine
that a friend of yours is at the opposite end of the mall, next to the toy
store. And imagine that you’re telling that person how to get to where you are.
Now, picture yourself saying, “To
get to where I am, start in the northeast corner by Starbucks.” That doesn’t
make any sense, does it? Because that’s where you are, not where the other
person is.
You’re coming from your own
here and expecting the other person to start there, too. And that’s not
going to happen. So to engage people fully, it’s critical to do something very
different. Once you’ve find out where another person is coming from, your goal
is to approach things from that person’s perspective. When you do this, it
becomes exponentially easier for the person to connect with you.
Few days after the workshop we received the following
message from one participant – Sachin R:
“This time while having
performance feedback discussions with my Team I used ‘Their there’ approach. I
wrote "Their There" on the top of the sheet followed by 5 questions:
1.
What went well for you last year & why?
2.
What didn't go well for you and why?
3.
What support you got from us/me to help you achieve
your objectives?
4.
What support you didn't get from us/me ?
5.
What support your require from us/me for your growth
and development?
I asked these questions to all my
team members with complete "Their There" mindset. And surprisingly,
their responses had most of the feedback which I wanted to give them.
It worked for me. I'm sure will
work for you too. 😊😊”
Here is another message from Amit J from same
team:
“Have just finished performance
assessment conversation with three of my team members in a contribuing ‘Their
There’ way..
I have known the three for a long
time and not only was there a major difference in the response but one of them
actually said that he noticed a big difference in how this conversation has
happened today vis-a-vis in the past.. And I asked him if he thought it was
more helpful and he responded in the affirmative saying not only helpful but
very constructive ..”
In my opinion this approach and above 5 questions are
very relevant for anyone conducting any type of review, annual or otherwise.
May this mail inspire you to experiment with this
approach and make your reviews more balanced & constructive
Warm regards,
Rohan 