Dear Reader,
As we begin this new year, I invite you to
ask a question on this New Year with yourself and others?
What do you intend to discard at the end
of 2017? Some habit or attitude you may have been dragging
along for many years.
In my case, I am discarding hypocrisy,
especially with people close to me, my tendency to please everyone even against
my own wishes (in my actions as well as words). I will be my authentic self all
the time, everywhere. I am also leaving behind petty thinking and will think BIG
2018 onwards.
What would be your answer?
This idea got sparked by a TED talk by Jia
Jiang: “What
I learned from 100 days of rejection”
Most of my life I have lived seeking approval,
being nice to everyone and mainly being afraid of rejection. I got rejected
many times in my life since childhood e.g. not being included in a game by
friends, not being selected to represent my house for a competition, rejected by
the first company that came for summer placement in my college, rejected by the
first 5 companies I interviewed for a job at final placement, not being given
the promotion I coveted etc. etc.
The list is quite long. Each rejection came
with huge pain. So, fear of failure, rejection & being left alone went together.
The only way I found to cover it was by saying things that people want to hear,
agreeing with them even when I did not really agree. It did not help much.
Hypocrite is a strong word. And in our mind,
it mostly applies to others who don’t walk their talk or who don’t talk
their mind. I did find a hypocrite lurking inside. When I reviewed my own instances
of hypocrisy, fear of rejection was strongly present every time.
This ted talk is a great help. Some of the
lines that resonated with me are:
- We have two personalities inside us: one who wants to make a difference and another who has a fear of rejection.
- How to take fear of rejection head on: Instead of anticipating rejection and running away at the first glimpse of rejection, stay; stay engaged and ask WHY!!
- Rejection does not define who you are. Your reaction to the rejection defines you!!
Jia Jiang had an extreme fear of rejection
and he decided to apply rejection therapy. Over 100 days he asked random people
questions that he was sure they would refuse, thus collecting 100 rejections.
He created a video blog of all these experiences.
His 3rd attempt transformed his
life, where he made a crazy request to Jackie at Krispy Kreme to make Olympic
symbol donuts for him. This
video went viral with 5.6 million views till date.
Worth watching. I am confident you would be
moved by the way Jackie responded. I was.
This 100 days rejection exercise,
transformed Jia Jiang forever. It even helped him fulfil his life long dream.
May these videos inspire you to take any
fear of rejection head-on this year. May you find courage to begin what you
have been avoiding thus far, but matters to you.
Warm regards
