Let
this blog find you amidst lot of true friends with enriching relationships!
In
my research on people and their interactions with others, I interacted with
many people in and outside our workshop sessions. Also read many books.
When I was a kid, I was told to keep away
from OSHO books or anything related to it. My mom strictly believed so. She
said that even some film stars have left their careers in peak and joined OSHO
Ashram. Also other magnified rumours on what happens in the OSHO Ashram. So I
kept myself away from these influences!! J
Recently
I came across some books that are transcription of the speeches by OSHO and I
was quite surprised by the clarity, simplicity and awareness in those books.
One such book that I found very relevant is:
- THE
BOOK OF WOMAN – by OSHO
It
is one of the best book I have ever come across regarding women, men, their
connections with each other & how to transform first connection with self
& then with people around you. I very strongly recommend you to look at
this book with a neutral perspective and your awareness level will reach
another high!
Despite
all the automation, enhanced screen exposure via internet, TV, games, mobiles,
one still has to deal with human beings and maintain relationships of various
kinds. The search is on for what can one do to make a relationship pure? Is it
even possible?
I
noticed one thing; we all want to be ourselves. But based on various roles and
situations, we do behave as someone else. So whenever you can be absolutely
yourself with someone else, that is where a pure relationship begins. There is
no pretense, no calculative behavior or thoughts or words. You simply state
what you wish to, you simply do what you wish to. You are just yourself. That
is the best use of your energy. I have found that whenever I am behaving as
someone else, I mostly make a fool of myself, it takes away lot of energy and
also results are average or pathetic!!
Totality:
Easiest
to give money: It is most easy to give money and get over with the
accountability. One typical conversation:
“Sweatheart:
I am toiling so hard to generate money so that we all can live happily. What
more do you want from me?”
Reply:
“TIME”
So
now the person comes home at 7:00 pm, and is now physically at home, but
totally engaged taking calls, working on laptop, sending SMS or changing
channels, or simply fidgeting. “Now why are you upset, you wanted me to come
back home in time, I am home. What more do you want?”
Reply:
“Attention”
“OK
now I am not doing anything. See I switched off the TV. Tell me!!” Attention is
there, but the mind is running with 100 other thoughts. Most likely the office
events are still replaying. Next day meetings and jobs are also playing.
So
the TASK MANAGER (what we get when the PC hangs and we press CTRL+ALT+DEL) has
so many tasks, simultaneously processing or hanging (not responding). This I
have noticed also in many people especially while dealing with their juniors.
They will keep typing, looking at the screen, or sending SMS and will tell the
person in front: “Yes, GO ON! I am listening”. We actually feel offended when
others do it to us. But notice that we also do it with other people many times.
One
thing is for sure, every human being has a special intuitive transmitter &
receiver that can always detect whether there are other tasks in the task
manager of the person in front. Can you make out when you are on a phone call,
whether the person on the other side is totally with you or he/she is engaged
in multitasking? Our special in built transmitter will always tell you that.
So
we can at best pretend. I think MULTI TASKING is a myth… actually a limitation
& not strength. This term originated from the computer world. We have so
many tasks being executed by the computer at the same time. But when we get to
the millisecond level, we find that at a given moment, the CPU is only
executing one task and switches to next in millisecond and so on, giving an
illusion of multi-tasking.
Finally
what is more difficult than giving attention? Here lies the key to any
relationship: be it business or personal relationship or friendship. Giving
TOTALITY. That is the biggest challenge. If you can ensure giving your totality
while being with a person (professional or personal level), you are laying a
strong foundation to a relationship of purity & respect. This means that
for that particular set of few minutes, your task manager contains only one
task – that person.
And
if you can also keep an objective to contribute to that person in that
interaction, the probability of creating a high quality relationship is very
high.
I
think it is easier said than done. The overload of information makes our mind,
board multiple trains of thought and makes giving totality more difficult.
Here is one
suggestion to experiment with to bring totality in whatever you do and in your
interactions. Carry a small writing pad with you (mobile notepad doesn’t work
as good). When you are doing some work needing total concentration, keep that
pad on your side. Anytime you get a thought that is unconnected with the work,
note it on that pad. It will free your RAM.
When dealing with
someone (especially officially) tell that person that you are attempting to
give him/her totality and in case you get an unrelated thought, you are going
to jot it in the pad. Initially the person may feel offended, but in few
minutes, he/she will actually experience authenticity in you and that will take
the connection to a new level.
Here is wishing you
totality in your relationships.
Warm regards,
Link to our workshops
No comments:
Post a Comment