Upholding self esteem of others

Dear Reader,

Here is a story that I found while reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends & influence people”.  It is about how important it is to uphold self-esteem of people, even if they have made a mistake.

The story is quite applicable even in current corporate settings.

Ms. Mazzone, a marketing specialist for a food packer, was given her first major assignment – the test-marketing of a new product.

In her words: “when the results of the test came in, I was devastated. I had made a serious error in my planning, and the entire test had to be done all over again. To make this worse, I had no time to discuss it with my boss before the meeting in which I was to make my report on the project.

When I was called on to give the report, I was shaking with fright. I had all I could do to keep from breaking down, but I resolved I would not cry... I made my report briefly and stated that due to an error I would repeat the study before the next meeting. I sat down, expecting my boss to blow up.

Instead, he thanked me for my work and remarked that it was not unusual for a person to make an error on a new project and that he had confidence that the repeat survey would be accurate and meaningful to the company. He assured me, in front of all my colleagues, that he had faith in me and knew I had done my best, and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability, was the reason for the failure.

I left that meeting with my head up in the air and with the determination that I would never let that boss of mine down again.”

When a person makes a mistake we have a choice between pointing at the mistake or the person. I feel that the way we handle someone’s mistake can define the quality of our relationship with them.

Warm regards,

Rohan

Contribution received from super boss- A real story

Dear Reader, In a recent workshop, we asked participants to share events where they experienced priceless contribution from others at work. This is what one person shared:  “A few years ago I handled sales in Gorakhpur territory. The main distributor Mr Khosla was a big shot. Despite all my efforts, I could not organize a meeting with him. My boss in Delhi kept following up on my targets, questioning my sales acumen that I couldn’t even get a meeting with the distributor in a month. I was at my wit’s end. One day I got a call from my super-boss Anil, from Mumbai. I explained my problem: Mr Khosla does not give appointments, instead gets junior employees to meet me. Next evening, I got a call from my depot that Anil is coming tomorrow morning. Anil landed and said. “let’s go!!” As we went from meeting to meeting, I realized how much people in the trade respected him even after him being away for 4 years. He went to Mr Khosla’s office and got a meeting with him on the spot! Anil introduced me to him. He was humble & inspiring all along. It changed me forever. Since then whenever I hear a manager in my team mentioning about his junior struggling in the field with remarks like “he can’t do it, it is not in him”, I encourage the manager to listen, understand & help the junior resolve it. Today Anil is Asia Pacific CEO of a Fortune 500 company.” May this story inspire you to make your team members winners. We also welcome you to share experiences where you received priceless contribution from your peers and/or bosses. Warm regards, Rohan

Sphere of Silence - a practice to take charge of your day

Dear Reader,

Have you ever wished to be in-charge of your 24 hours? That one day you will remain calm and centered despite an ever-increasing, overwhelming to-do-list?? That one day you will have clarity on long term goals and progress towards those goals everyday?? Do you wish to live a life of choice, rather than reacting to day-to-day events?

I started to practice “Sphere of Silence” and found my days were more productive & running by my plan. It’s a concept created by Vijay Easwaran, a successful enterpreneur. Special thanks to Nithya Shanti for sharing this idea and Vijay’s book with us in his workshop.

The concept is to spend an hour in silence each day in a structured manner. One hour without any distraction or break, no mobile, laptop, mails or any other communication with anyone.

For this practice you need:

-       Journal / notebook & pen

-       a book to read

-       a clock (Insight Timer mobile app is useful)

The first 30 minutes of the practice is the Path of Duty, the next 20 minutes is the Path of Knowledge & last 10 minutes is the Path of Devotion

I.        The Path of Duty Past (10 mins) A.    Reflect back on yesteday and where you could have improved or done a task better B.    Analyse why the task was not done, if not done Present (10 mins) A.    Write down all your plans for the day B.    Underpromise & over deliver Future (10 mins) A.    Set your goals for next seven days. B.    Set you short term goals for 12 months C.    Set your long-term goals for 5 years D.    Write these goals every single day

II.      The Path of Knowledge (20 mins) 1.     Pick a book from any field that will enhance your knowledge 2.     Read the book for 15 minutes 3.     For the next five minutes, summarzie all the important points you remember 4.     Check & add the points you have missed out 5.     Read these points the next day, before you continue reading the book.

III.    The Path of Devotion (10 mins) This is your private conversation with the Creator / Creation / Universe / The Force. It is done in whatever way you feel comfortable. Pray seek and ask the questions in your heart that need answers. Your 10 minute reflection must also be written down.

Click here for more details of the practice 

I managed to find 1 hour despite my tight schedule! I have been practicing it daily for last 15 days in a row. I find it very effective. Best part is, it pulled me to itself instead of me pushing myself. Simply because it seems to be aligning me to my flow of life!

May this mail and the concept assist you in creating a life you desire.

Warm regards,

Rohan

P.S. as on 4 May 2016 it is 60 days of daily practice!!

An approach for balanced and constructive performance review

Dear Reader,

For many of you this might be annual performance review time. As a boss, it can be quite a challenge to give a critical feedback to your team members.

In a recent workshop with leadership team of a company, we shared a concept of “their- there”. We picked this concept from a book I have earlier shared in my mail:

Real Influence - Persuade without push and gain without giving in: By Mark Goulston & John Ullman.

Here is the concept in brief:

Imagine that you’re at one end of a shopping mall - say, the northeast corner, over by Starbucks. Next, imagine that a friend of yours is at the opposite end of the mall, next to the toy store. And imagine that you’re telling that person how to get to where you are.

Now, picture yourself saying, “To get to where I am, start in the northeast corner by Starbucks.” That doesn’t make any sense, does it? Because that’s where you are, not where the other person is.

You’re coming from your own here and expecting the other person to start there, too. And that’s not going to happen. So to engage people fully, it’s critical to do something very different. Once you’ve find out where another person is coming from, your goal is to approach things from that person’s perspective. When you do this, it becomes exponentially easier for the person to connect with you.

Few days after the workshop we received the following message from one participant – Sachin R:

“This time while having performance feedback discussions with my Team I used ‘Their there’ approach. I wrote "Their There" on the top of the sheet followed by 5 questions:

1.     What went well for you last year & why?

2.     What didn't go well for you and why?

3.     What support you got from us/me to help you achieve your objectives?

4.     What support you didn't get from us/me ?

5.     What support your require from us/me for your growth and development?

I asked these questions to all my team members with complete "Their There" mindset. And surprisingly, their responses had most of the feedback which I wanted to give them.

It worked for me. I'm sure will work for you too. 😊😊”

Here is another message from Amit J from same team:

“Have just finished performance assessment conversation with three of my team members in a contribuing ‘Their There’ way..

I have known the three for a long time and not only was there a major difference in the response but one of them actually said that he noticed a big difference in how this conversation has happened today vis-a-vis in the past.. And I asked him if he thought it was more helpful and he responded in the affirmative saying not only helpful but very constructive ..”

In my opinion this approach and above 5 questions are very relevant for anyone conducting any type of review, annual or otherwise.

May this mail inspire you to experiment with this approach and make your reviews more balanced & constructive 

Warm regards,

Rohan